Batman Vs Superman: Batman’s Suit Revealed

Today Zack Snyder (Man of Steel, Batman vs Superman) has released the first ever, publicly available pictures of Ben Affleck in the new caped crusader get up and I have to say, it’s an interesting look.

In the picture, he is stood next to the new look Batmobile (the rear end of the infamous vehicle was revealed in a tweet yesterday).  The Batmobile itself does look like a slight throwback to Nolan’s ‘tumbler’ but it’s has a much more sleek, racecar look to it rather than looking like a tank. The Tumbler was one of the only things I personally did not like about The Dark Knight trilogy as I felt it didn’t have a traditional Batmobile look, but I suppose the originality should be lauded (also the way the Batbike came out of it was badass).

 

The suit looks like it’s made out of Kevlar (or some other fabric) rather than the more solid “armour type” look Nolan went for in The Dark Knight Trilogy, which enables Affleck to show off the muscles he’s been building for 2 hours a day since he was informed of his selection to appear as Bruce Wayne. Another 1 up it has over the Dark Knight costume is the shortening of the “ears” on the cowl, by the Dark Knight Rises, those things were HUGE! I can’t make out a utility belt, but surely there will be one on there.

The only criticism I have right now of the suit is the bat emblem on the chest area. It is too broad and chunky and I feel that it has been designed this way solely because of how the promo posters look (though I could be wrong and it might be the other way round)

As a big supporter of Henry Cavill’s Superman and Snyder’s choice to cast both Affleck and Jesse Eisenberg (as Lex Luthor) All I can say so far of Batman vs Superman is that it is shaping up nicely.

 

 What do you think of the new-look Batman? Do you prefer Nolans?

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Review: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

 

So due to my busy schedule of juggling revision and lectures I finally got around to watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier last night. I’ve been waiting to watch this movie all year and last night it just got to the point where I couldn’t wait any longer.

First things first, Cap has got much more badass since his first outing and as far as I’m concerned, this is for the better. It is a sigh of relief, as in the original Captain America film (and even a little bit in Avengers Assemble) I was starting to worry that he could be a bit of a drag and a wet cloth. I can safely say that The Winter Soldier has redeemed the Captain in my eyes.

I can’t ignore the efforts of Samuel L Jackson and Scarlett Johansson, they have been consistently excellent at playing super spies Nick Fury and Black Widow throughout the whole franchise, and this is no exception. Black Widow was given a lot of action and even a few witty quips which make her character just that little bit more likeable and Nick Fury was given the responsibility of carrying an intense, suspense filled part in the storyline, very early on in the movie (I won’t spoil it for you).

Because of Cap’s new attitude, Black Widow’s flare and the introduction of the super assassin The Winter Soldier, It’s phenomenally action packed from beginning to end, with two or three high adrenaline car chases and more hand to hand combat than you could even wish for.

In the Winter Soldier we are given a more dark insight into the goings on behind S.H.I.E.L.D., which does make for a stunning storyline. The S.H.I.E.L.D. team has suddenly become much more intense and virulent since the incidents in New York (The Avengers). They have put together a project called “Project: Insight” which will eliminate threats before they even occur (because that can’t go horribly wrong!) and because of this we see the whole world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe turn on it’s head.

Moving on to the new additions to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Falcon (as played by Anthony Mackie) is introduced and adds some wit and dry humour to an otherwise relatively serious film, which really helps to assimilate his character into the series with ease and I can see him quickly becoming a fan favourite. I have to commend Anthony Mackie’s performance as he managed to pull it off with aplomb without appearing cocky or unlikeable. The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) is also a complete badass, every time he appears; the audience is on the edge of their seat. This is in part to the way in which Stan managed to carry such intensity, which isn’t an easy task for an actor at all, especially when he has less than 10 lines throughout the whole movie. Let’s hope we see some more of him around the M.C.U.! And finally we are introduced to Baron Wolfgang Von Strucker in the mid-credits scene, who is to play a huge part in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

All of this and I still haven’t mentioned the directing and cinematography, which are both also excellent. Directed by the Russo brothers (who have apparently signed on to the sequel), they captivated the true spirit of a superhero movie, drama, humour and action all rolled up into one brilliant blockbuster hit. The cinematography was mindblowing, the sets were incredible and the CGI was untouchable.

I can’t deny I adored this movie, and if Marvel can keep up this kind of quality in their movies (which they have been doing), I don’t see anyone knocking them off of their perch as the current kings of cinema.

Trailer:

What did you think of The Winter Soldier?

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Superhero Movies They Just Have to Make (or Re-make): Aquaman

Aquaman is often seen as a laughing stock of Superheroes and this really kind of pisses me off. Hopefully in the next few paragraphs I can convince you that Aquaman is one of the best superheroes there is.

Let’s start with how he became Aquaman. His real name is Arthur Curry. When his mother (an atlantean) died, he was very young and so his father (an ocean explorer) took him on an excavation. On this excavation, Arthur’s father discovered the lost city of Atlantis. Once he got there, he sealed himself in one of the palaces and began to study and train the half Atlantean Arthur how to breathe underwater, how to communicate with fish etc. He honed all of his submarine skills to become Aquaman. That’s a movie in itself. Then with arch-nemeses such as the Black Manta and Ocean Master, there is enough material from story arcs to possibly even make a series.

His powers are awesome, he can breathe underwater indefinitely, withstand incredible amounts of pressure, command an army of Atlanteans, has telepathic powers, can control water to some degree and of course can talk to fish. Not to mention his superhuman strength and superfast swimming.

I just think that Aquaman is so underrated and if scripted correctly with the right director (no ‘Michael Bays’ please), this could turn into a superhero movie heavyweight. It has been hinted that Aquaman will make an appearance in 2015’s Batman Vs Superman, though many rumours have been quashed as far as that is concerned (at one point Game of Thrones’Jason Momoa was linked with the role), although with the Justice League movie (2018) coming up and if D.C. take the same route as Marvel did with The Avengers I don’t see why this movie isn’t a possibility.

Who should play him? With huge, strong people like Jason Momoa linked with the role, this was a tough one. I quite like the idea of moving away from heavy bulky superheroes and edging towards someone more like Michael Fassbender. His seriousness and stern face, combined with his obviously excellent acting talent would make Aquaman a hit.

 

What do you think? Should Aquaman be made into a movie or do you think it would flop?

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Can D.C.’s Justice League Match Marvel’s Avengers Juggernaut?

So Warner Brothers and D.C. have announced a Justice League movie, which will be directed by Zack Snyder (Man of Steel, 300) to be released in 2017. This is also around the estimated release date for the third film of The Avengers franchise (est. 2018 release). With the way film releases are delayed these days there is a possibility of a direct head to head, blockbusting collision between the two films. The question is, do Marvel really have anything to worry about?

Remember, this is a whole three years away and D.C. still has a few film powerhouses in their docks. Kicking off with the highly anticipated Batman Vs. Superman in the summer of 2016, where Ben Affleck is taking the helm as the caped crusader to make his debut appearance as a major comic book hero (let’s just forget about Daredevil). By the sounds of things The Dark Knight is going to have a showdown with Henry Cavill’s Man of Steel, which is enough to make any sort of movie or comic book fan’s mouth water.

They have already casted their Wonder Woman and Gal Gadot will become the Amazonian princess, though there hasn’t been much else revealed about the story or release date. It was initially aiming for a 2013 release, but due to problems with casting and scriptwriting, it has been delayed. Warner Bros have also decided to create a Flash film that will be released the year before The Justice League. There have also been talks of an Aquaman film being in the works, but there’s no solid evidence that that’s happening, so don’t get too excited.

I feel that D.C. have got a game plan and everything sounds good, but they don’t have one thing… D.C.’s characters all lack child-friendliness and charisma. Marvel’s Avengers Initiative (excuse the pun) first came into action when Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man (2008) was a resounding success, then Loki (Tom Hiddleston) exploded onto the scene in Thor (2011) and both developed massive followings, of course from there it’s all (as they say) history. Children and adults alike were going to watch Marvel films in bulk solely because of those two guys. Then Scarlett Johansson came along which obviously interested men and Chris Hemsworth bulked up for the ladies and all in all, everyone on the Avengers team was well liked long before they appeared as the superhero ensemble we all know and love.

All this makes you think, which loveable, child friendly characters have D.C. produced recently? The Green Lantern (A laughing stock), The Dark Knight series (Great movies, but no characters you fell in love with) and Man of Steel (Superman is always a bit drab though). Without characters that can resonate with younger audiences and that can attract the older audiences and also pull in a few laughs, D.C. will struggle to get off the ground.

Unless in these next few planned movies, D.C. can move away from it’s darker roots and develop their characters in a more child friendly way, I feel like The Justice League will fail and it’s looking like Marvel’s Avengers will remain kings of the comic book world.

 

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Superhero Movies they Just Have To Make (or Re-make): Deadpool

I initially thought that people would be dying to see a Deadpool film, but really the general opinion on the websites I use (tickld etc.) is very split. Obviously people love the character, he’s a smartass, he has badass fighting skills, he’s funny, he’s cool, his costume is awesome, but people think that it will be difficult to do a Deadpool style film, what with his breaking of the fourth wall and wry humour. It’d also have to be R-Rated (or 15/18 in England) because of the necessary extremely violent attitude which so often is seen as a key characteristic of Wade Wilson himself which would cut out a lot of the possible huge fan base. I am one who would love a Deadpool film though, and I hope I can convince you otherwise.

It’s not just his cavalier attitude that large cults of people have started to adore, but he’s also supported by some pretty fantastic story-lines. His character development from his first appearance in 1991 is staggering. They could easily do an origins style movie about him. NOT like X-Men Origins: Wolverine (bloody awful movie) but his evolution from odd child, to mad mercenary to insane assassin.

Although an origins movie would be nice, I quite like the idea of a series of films for Deadpool, starting out with his backstory and his story working for Tolliver (the man who initially gives him his contracts after he has become Deadpool), the stories following Tolliver’s Will would make a good picture, his partnership with Cable, and throw in an Uncanny X-Force film just for good measure. The possibilities are endless. Though film companies would have to be very careful, we’ve seen that too much can be poison for superhero franchises (Spiderman 3, Fantastic 4, X-Men: The Last Stand) and the last thing that comic book fans would want is their beloved Deadpool ruined on the big screen.

If not a film completely dedicated to him, he should at least make a featured appearance in one of the Marvel franchise films. I mean, he has been a featured character in some of the Avengers, X-Men and X-Force story arcs, so why not?

Who should play him? Ryan Reynolds. Yes, Origins was terrible and yes they got it all wrong with Weapon X, but Reynolds as Wade Wilson absolutely took the crown for best performance in what was otherwise a rather drab film. He can carry the arrogance, the smart mouth attitude and the physique to make The Merc With a Mouth a comic movie legend.

 

Do you think Deadpool should be made into a movie? If not why not? Put your comments in the section below

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10 Movies Not To Watch With Your Parents

#10– Extreme Movie (2008)

A coming of age movie should be okay right? Wrong. This one is entirely about sex, and sex alone. In the same vein as American Pie concerning the embarrassments of teenage sex, Extreme Movie goes the extra nine yards and just throws a funny storyline out of the window and just has it about trials and tribulations of teenage sex. I managed to avoid watching this with my parents, but after watching it (it was bloody awful) I decided to scour forums etc. to see what people thought and there was this nice little anecdote that someone had posted where at every single embarrassing moment, his mum would tell him if he ever had any questions about sex to just ask. That is one situation you’d want to avoid. Trust me.

#9 – Spring Breakers (2012)

Again, a really poorly written film though shockingly it got so much praise. Think of it as Girls Gone Wild meets Havoc. But what do a lot of film makers tend to head for to make up for bad acting (to be fair to James Franco, he did put in a relatively stellar performance), bad dialogue and a crap storyline? Girls in bikinis, and sex scenes. Foolproof right? Cue James Franco, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson taking part in a ménage a trois kind of situation. More than once.

# 8– Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

Now this one might have slipped under the radar had I not watched it no more than 2 weeks ago with my dad. When we sat down and were choosing a film off of the Internet to check out, we came across Crank 2. Now this film had Jason Statham, seemed action packed and adrenaline filled. So what could possibly go wrong? I’ll tell you what can go wrong… Amy Smart can go wrong. When the main character Chev (Jason Statham) goes into a strip club to get his “kicks”, Amy Smart rocks out and performs a rather *ahem* ‘provocative’ strip tease. I know what you’re thinking; “How lame, I can deal with that!” BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Skip forward a scene and we find our characters at a horse racetrack and Chev’s heart starts to stop. This then leads to Amy raunchily grinding on Statham to give him an adrenaline rush, which escalates to a pseudo-pornographic sex scene and ends with Amy Smart reaching her climax on the track itself whilst staring at a huge horse’s penis.  Yep, that just happened.

 

#7 – American Pie (1999)

It would be foolish to think that not one member of the American Pie franchise wouldn’t make this list. There are just too many moments that are “Oh God why?” I have had the personal pain of sitting through most of them with my parents and I can safely tell you, it was awful. Admittedly (most of) the films are absolutely hilarious and the antics of Jim and the gang guarantee a laugh, but of course, they aren’t the only ones that make this film wholly inappropriate to watch with ol’ ma and pa. You get scenes (from the girls and Stifler especially) which could be crushingly uncomfortable, highlights include; Alyson Hannigan’s Michelle revealing where (“This one time at Band camp”) she had put a flute and Shannon Elizabeth ‘pleasuring’ herself in Jim’s room, Stifler drinking beer filled with semen ad the classic pie scene… All in all though, if you avoid those scenes and the rest of this smut filled movie series on family movie night, you’re in the safe and clear

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#6 – Teeth (2007)

I’ve written a review of this one earlier on. Wow. This is just a strange film in general. So basically it’s about a girl who was going to take a celibacy vow, who also has teeth in her vagina. I think that’s enough said for you to steer clear of this one. It’s a bizarre concept for a film based on folk stories concerning “vagina dentata” where some girls developed teeth in their vaginas to warn away sexual predators, which for some reason in this movie every single man in the whole entire town is. The protagonist gets raped at the start of the film, before the guy realizes he has been castrated by his prey (he wholeheartedly deserved it as well, the creep). Then her gynecologist also becomes inappropriate with her and loses a couple of fingers… but hey, if you have a relatively strong stomach check it out for yourself, just not with ma and pa.

#5– American Psycho (2000)

My experience between this film and my parents was an indirect one. I had bought it on DVD and before I had even watched it my mum and dad decided to have a nice lazy Sunday afternoon with a movie and some wine. One and a half hours later, mum’s taken the DVD and throws it away and I’m banned from watching it. When I eventually did get around to buying the DVD again and watching it, for the first 10-15 minutes I was thinking, “hmmm, mega over reaction from mama there” cue Patrick Batemans attempt to uproot and recreate the infamous “One Night In Paris” tape. That’s right. The main character in this film is so arrogant, he decides he wants to make a sex tape with 2 prostitutes whilst flexing and looking at himself in the mirror. Fantastic stuff. Just glad I wasn’t there to see it in its full glory with the folks. He also decides to go down on one of the girls and manages to kill her, leading to the other one running away and discovering mounds of other dead bodies. He drops a chainsaw on her from the top of a stairwell as she tries to escape(see my “Top 10 movie kills” article).

#4 – Splice (2009)

This one is about a couple of genetic scientists (Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) who are secretly splicing animal genes together to make a human hybrid in an attempt a a massive scientific breakthrough. They create something and allow it to be “born”. This is when one of the scientists, Elsa (Sarah Polley) develops mother like tendencies towards the creature and calls it “Dren”.  It then moves in with the two scientists at their barn. The whole film is a bit hard to watch to be honest, but who could ever forget THAT scene. One evening, Adrien is seduced by Dren and has sex with her. Dren then dies and is reincarnated as a winged, male version of herself (itself?) who then rapes Elsa and impregnates her. It’s just one you have to see to believe.

#3 – Ken Park (2002)

Harmony Korine’s second appearance on this list (this time as a writer rather than director) Ken Park is based on Larry Clark’s stories about adolescence and rebellion. The film is centered around four main characters; Shawn who is having sex with his girlfriend’s mum, Claude who is beaten and abused by his father (eventually this escalates to sexual abuse), Peaches who’s dad is super religious and abusive towards her, and the most messed up of all, Tate, who is a complete and utter sadistic savage. There are scenes of autoerotic asphyxiation, incestuous relationships and to wrap the whole film up, a threesome. So I think you can understand why you’d want to avoid this with your parents.

#2 – A Serbian Film (2010)

Described as a “Nasty piece of exploitation trash” by Mark Kemode and “pandering to mouth-breathing gorehounds who found Hostel a bit too soft”, it’s no surprise that A Serbian Film made this list. Quite honestly, I didn’t want to put it in here because I in no way endorse this movie, I think it is an absolutely twisted, shocking and quite frankly disgusting advocate for the art film genre (which can be extremely good at times), but if I did ignore it in it’s entirety then I would be lying to you. I’m not going to go into any detail of what happens but I’ll just say, there are scenes of child rape, necrophilia and something coined in the movie as “newborn porn”. Just thinking about it is disgusting. Don’t watch this movie with your parents, hell don’t even watch it by yourself. I’m being deadly serious. It can only be described as inches away from a snuff film.

#1 – Antichrist (2009)

This whole entire film is an absolute mindf*ck from the word “Prologue”, where we see a baby tumbling out of a window whilst an unnamed couple are having some completely uncensored sex. The movie itself is about a couple who, after their childs tragic death, retreat to a cabin in some woods for some closure. This is where the husband (aptly named “He”) finds out the wife (“She”) is quite insane. You see everything. This one had many many possible scenes that one wouldn’t want to see with their parents, but I’m going to focus on two particular parts. The first is a scene in Chapter 3: Gynocide. He (Willem Dafoe) is attacked by his wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg) who accuses him of wanting to leave her. She then begins to mount him before crushing his testicles with a block of wood and then giving him a “not-so happy ending” which ends in a lot of blood. Disgusting.  The next is a scene in Chapter 4, where She is masturbating and gets a pair of scissors and cuts off her clitoris. There is no censorship in the whole film, with “porno doubles” being used for the more graphic parts. Full of sadism, violence, gynocidal tendencies and violent sexual activities, there was no other film reaching the top of this list. It’s just director Lars Von Trier in a nutshell, controversial, opinion splitting and completely original. Admittedly some of the shots were quite beautiful (it did win quite a few awards for cinematography) but many were very disturbing. If you do decide to watch this, don’t say I didn’t warn you (and yes I did watch this with my dad by accident, a horrible experience if you want to know).

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Top 10 (Slasher) Movie Kills

Just to put the parameters for this list out there. To qualify for this list, the death in question must appear in a slasher film and must also have a unique, humorous or iconic aspect to it.

 #10 Friday 13^th Part III (1982): Pop Goes the Weasel

Ok, I’m going to kick this list off with a more humorous kill.  A little bit of info about the film, when it was released, it was supposed to be in 3-D and to be honest, probably solely for this moment. Jason approaches this poor, unsuspecting guy from behind, grabs his head and squeezes. He squeezes hard enough for this guy’s eye to pop right out (in 3-D) into the crowd, much to the delights of the spectators. NB – This is the fakest use of prosthetics you’ll ever see.

#9 Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006): The Hunter Becomes The Hunted

I thought this film deserved more acclaim and exposure than it got. It’s the best documentary style film I have seen, with appearances from Robert Englund, Scott Wilson and Zelda Rubenstein. That’s one of the reasons I’ve put it on this list. This is a unique kill because it’s actually the slasher himself who gets “killed” by his “virgin girl” (watch the movie, you’ll understand) by crushing his head with an apple grinder. SPOILER: He’s not actually dead!

#8 – Halloween (1978): Ghostbuster

I never liked the Halloween films to be honest, but one has to respect that it was the starting point of the 80s slasher film craze. I chose this one because it just seems like a funny and strange kill. The killer (Michael Myers) has dressed up in a sheet and sunglasses to look like a girl’s boyfriend dressed as a ghost. He then strangled her with a phone wire.

#7 – A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors  (1987): Puppetmaster

Although I didn’t care much for the Nightmare series after the original (which was fantastic), this has to be the most creative kill on the list. Freddy manages to pull all of the veins out of mental patients arms and legs before using them to guide him (like a puppet’s strings) off the edge of a building. You have to ask who thinks of these things?

 #6 –A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984): To The Wall

This is an extremely iconic and famous kill, and that is why it makes an appearance so high in this list. This is the first time we were all terrified by Freddy Kreuger. A girl has a few people over to her house and one thing leads to another and she goes up to bed with a random lad. After she falls asleep, she enters Freddy’s domain where she is brutally slashed and dragged up the walls, though outside of the dreamworld, this is all happening without a perpetrator. Creepy.

 #5 – Friday 13^th Part VIII: So You Wanna Be a Boxer?

People outside of Camp Crystal Lake don’t seem to understand how Jason works, well at least not Julius, this young whippersnapper from New York actually thought he could box Jason. This one is just funny to watch, he really tires himself out trying to punch Jason and after the “bout” (if you could call it that), Jason whips off his head with one clean sweep of his machete and the head flies straight into a bin. Lesson learned.

 #4 – A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984): The Fountain

The only film to make it on this list twice is the original Nightmare on Elm Street. This one makes it onto the list for exactly the same reason as #6; it is completely iconic. Killing Johnny Depp on his film debut by turning him into a geyser of blood? Classic. Who could ever forget that?

 #3 – Friday 13^th Part II: The Wheelstairs

As much as it is quite terrible to admit, my friend and I watched this on repeat about 4 times whenever we had Friday 13^th marathons. Mark is a guy in a wheelchair and Jason Voorhees slams a machete into his face. I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, how original…” here’s the kicker; Jason hits him hard enough for him to roll backwards down some stairs. Awful, but funny all the same.

#2 – American Psycho (2000): The Chainsaw Stairwell

This one is up near the top for 2 reasons. It is potentially the most flukey (or possibly well timed) kill that appears here and, come on, the originality is mind blowing. Not to mention the context of the whole thing, he was literally having sex with this girl 1 minute before this happened. I think this one is one of my favourite moments in slasher film history (if you could class American Psycho as an out and out slasher).

#1 – Psycho (1960): The Shower Scene

This is literally THE most iconic kill in any film, ever. The set up is perfect, big name actress (Janet Leigh), quite early in the film. Nobody suspects a thing. Until a shadowy character approaches her in the shower, pulls back the curtain and (cue Psycho music) the rest is movie history. Wow. Seriously nobody expected that. This movie is one of the reasons that Hitchcock will forever go down as the master of suspense.

 

If you’ve got a favourite, or I’ve missed out any that you think deserve a place on this list, be sure to put it in the comments below.

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Movies in May: Preview

May this year has many top drawer movie releases, but I’ve decided to choose the 3 that I think will be most successful this month:

1) Maleficent

This promises to be an interesting one. From Walt Disney Studios, Maleficent is the live-action story/retelling of Sleeping Beauty (1968) from the point of view of the Villain, the eponymous Maleficent. Sleeping Beauty’s reply to Wicked if you will. With Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient, supported by a cast containing Sharlto Copley (District 9, The A-Team) and Juno Temple (Wild Child, Atonement), it promises to be an excellent addition to the Disney family.

UK Release Date: 28th May 2014

2) Godzilla

The big green lizard is back. Since it’s last excursion in the (quite terrible) 1998 Roland Emerich flick, Gareth Edwards of “Monsters” fame has managed to get his hands on the right to film a big budget blockbuster starring Aaron-Taylor Johnson (Kick-Ass, Nowhere boy), Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene, Silent House) and the man who Knocks himself, Bryan Cranston. This rendition of the classic monster flick will be way more extreme and destructive (and hopefully much better) than the last.

Release Date: 16th May 2014

3) X-Men: Days of Future Past

Now this is the one I’m most looking forward to. Based on the 1981 Uncanny X-Men’s “Days of Future Past” story-arc, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is sent back in time by Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) to help 1960’s Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) in order to battle in both the past and the present to help save mutant kind. There was a slight explanation to Stewart’s Xavier’s return in a post-credits scene in the 2013 hit “The Wolverine” following his demise in the previous instalment, so if you’ve not checked that out yet, I really recommend you do, it’s an awesome movie (The Last Stand, not so much). This is one of the most star studded casts I’ve ever seen, consisting of the 3 mentioned before alongside Halle Berry, Sir Ian McKellen, Michael Fassbender, Ellen Page, Peter Dinklage (Yes. Tyrion!), Jennifer Lawrence, need I go on? This looks like it will be the film of the month for me, and I really hope it doesn’t disappoint. Not to mention the posters are also pretty damn cool.

UK Release Date: 22nd May 2014

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Controversial Movie Review: #1 Teeth (2007)

Pre-Viewing Comments: I’ve put off watching this one for quite a while now; “Teeth” is the story of a girl (called Dawn) who discovers she has teeth in her vagina. Why someone would make a film about this I’ll never know, but hey it got a 79% “fresh” rating from Rotten Tomatoes, so I suppose I’ll give it a blow.

 Post-Viewing Comments: Ok, so I’m just gonna say Rotten Tomatoes got this wrong. There was no substance at all to this film. Nada. It’s listed as a horror-comedy, but it was just twisted and wrong, you spend most of the time just thinking “what the f*** is actually happening?” and then you begin to question the reality of it. I found myself to be rushing to my laptop to google whether there was even a scrap of truth behind it. There is. Just google “Vagina dentata” and then something about types of cysts on the wikipedia page… I’m not going to get into that now, back to the movie. Looking at it in a critical way, it was merely a gorefest, no better than a B-movie, but it was marketed as much more, with it debuting at the Sundance Film Festival and whatnot. The acting was poor, none of the boys they brought in could act at all, however the lead girl, Jess Wiexler, does deserve some credit as her performance was a slight redemption for the film. The storyline was even poorer, it was just too far out there and every guy in Dawn’s town appeared to be a rapist, which just doesn’t make sense. To be fair, the guys that felt Dawn’s wrath deserved it (even her gynaecologist). Going back to my former statement, every single man in this film (bar her stepfather) appear to be portrayed as sex-obsessed, sexual deviants and/or completely immoral and I would go as far as to say that it carries a hint of sexism towards men, which is something you really don’t see every day. I do see it as a film about extreme female empowerment (which I don’t have a problem with) but I just feel they went about it in a strange, wrong way.

RATING: 4/10

Seriously, don’t watch this with your parents (not that you would even consider it).

Top 10: Twist Endings (Spoilers)

10 – The Others (2001) 

Nicole Kidman and her children are actually the ghosts, and they are the ones disturbing a living modern day family. The old woman in the attic is actually a medium sent to contact them *GASP*

9 – The Village (2004) 

Really, the village is in modern day America but the elders of the village decided that it would be better to remain in the 19th century. Classic M. Knight.

8 – Psycho (1960) 

Norman Bates had actually murdered his mother, but preserved her body

7 – Planet of The Apes (1968)

the Planet of the Apes is actually Earth! Who could forget Charlton Hestons epic knee fall; “DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL”

6 – Se7en (1995)

“What’s in the f***ing box?” well… it’s Brad Pitt’s heavily pregnant wife’s (Gwyneth Paltrow’s) head.

5 – The Sixth Sense (1999)

M. Knight Shyamalan’s second appearance and  probably the most famous twist of all time, Bruce Willis is a ghost. “I can see dead people”? You’re god damn right you can.

4 – Fight Club (1999)

Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) is a result of a split personality disorder for Ed Norton’s (unnamed) character. Turns out when Ed thought he was asleep, it was really Tyler taking control. (NB- the end-scene where he is fighting himself is hilarious and not to be missed).

3 – Oldboy (2003)

One of the more messed up twists on this list. So it turns out that Dae-Su (The main character) had unknowingly fallen in love and had sex with his own daughter (Mi-Do) as part of a gangsters master plan. Messed. Up. Though the film itself is excellent.

2 – The Usual Suspects (1995)

It had to be on here. In my opinion one of the greatest films of all time, and one of the greatest performances of an actor, by Kevin Spacey. The police are trying to get a lead on a mob boss named Keyser Söse and they have managed to find a person who they can get some info from. After a very intricate and convoluted interrogation, Verbal Kint (Spacey) is released by the police. Only, half way down the road outside the station we realise that good ol’ Verbal was actually Keyser Söse. Cool. “And like that, *poof* he’s gone”

1 – Primal Fear (1996)

Literally my favourite movie of all time. Richard Gere plays a lawyer defending an altarboy (Edward Norton) who is accused of murdering a priest. Part way through the film we discover out that Norton has a split personality disorder where he blacks out and can’t remember a thing (Twist 1). Once Gere manages to get Norton off on an insanity plea, he visits him in a holding cell and Norton recalls a memory from one of his blackouts. Turns out Norton had no split personality and had managed to fool Gere and the whole of the court that he was just an innocent little altarboy with mental problems; ”There never was an Aaron counselor” (Twist 2). Such a perfect, twisted and simply awful ending.