Controversial Movie Review: #1 Teeth (2007)

Pre-Viewing Comments: I’ve put off watching this one for quite a while now; “Teeth” is the story of a girl (called Dawn) who discovers she has teeth in her vagina. Why someone would make a film about this I’ll never know, but hey it got a 79% “fresh” rating from Rotten Tomatoes, so I suppose I’ll give it a blow.

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 Post-Viewing Comments: Ok, so I’m just gonna say Rotten Tomatoes got this wrong. There was no substance at all to this film. Nada. It’s listed as a horror-comedy, but it was just twisted and wrong, you spend most of the time just thinking “what the f*** is actually happening?” and then you begin to question the reality of it. I found myself to be rushing to my laptop to google whether there was even a scrap of truth behind it. There is. Just google “Vagina dentata” and then something about types of cysts on the wikipedia page… I’m not going to get into that now, back to the movie. Looking at it in a critical way, it was merely a gorefest, no better than a B-movie, but it was marketed as much more, with it debuting at the Sundance Film Festival and whatnot. The acting was poor, none of the boys they brought in could act at all, however the lead girl, Jess Wiexler, does deserve some credit as her performance was a slight redemption for the film. The storyline was even poorer, it was just too far out there and every guy in Dawn’s town appeared to be a rapist, which just doesn’t make sense. To be fair, the guys that felt Dawn’s wrath deserved it (even her gynaecologist). Going back to my former statement, every single man in this film (bar her stepfather) appear to be portrayed as sex-obsessed, sexual deviants and/or completely immoral and I would go as far as to say that it carries a hint of sexism towards men, which is something you really don’t see every day. I do see it as a film about extreme female empowerment (which I don’t have a problem with) but I just feel they went about it in a strange, wrong way.

RATING: 4/10

Seriously, don’t watch this with your parents (not that you would even consider it).

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